You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
