He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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