Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
