do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
