I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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