My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
