He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
