I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
