after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's rum buckets o'clock
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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