you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
