I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i think i have two assholes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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