I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
