I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
