i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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