Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
did you just send me my own nude
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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