I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
