she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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