it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
