It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Actions speak louder than pants.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
