The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
