It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My life is pants optional.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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