So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
