I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Randomize
