just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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