And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
