Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
