weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
