just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
