so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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