We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
