How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
