lets start a swedish sibling band together
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
