How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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