Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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