Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
