Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
