Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
