While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
