fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
birth control should be required to get into college
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
