She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
