We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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