White coat. Heels.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
