At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
