I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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