and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
