well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
