Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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