She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
is it fun? or sober?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
