btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
