Sry I called you an 8
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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